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ComputorEdge™ Online — 09/20/13

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ClipJump Free Windows Clipboard Manager

Of the Many Windows Clipboard Managers, ClipJump May Be Right For You.

Magazine Summary

List of ComputorEdge Sponsors

Digital Dave

by Digital Dave

Digital Dave answers your tech questions.

E-mail Attachments; Missing Drive; Recovering Deleted E-mails.

ClipJump, the Free Windows Clipboard Manager

by Jack Dunning

ClipJump Clipboard Manager Has a Number of Advantages

Not everyone needs a Clipboard manager, but if you find that you are constantly using copy-and-paste, then ClipJump may be just the ticket for you.

Build Your Own Special Purpose Calculator

by Jack Dunning

These Simple Calorie Count Techniques Show How to Do Calculations with AutoHotkey

You could use a spreadsheet to for repetitive calculations, but wouldn't it be great to have a specialized AutoHotkey pop-up calculator? The Calorie Count app shows you the basics of how to do it.

Wally Wang's Apple Farm

by Wally Wang

The Deception of Appearances

The Deception of Appearances; Why Microsoft Bought Nokia's Smartphone Business; Visual Basic for iOS; Soviet Posters; Sticky Keys.

Strange Costumes, Fist-Fights and Crowd-Pep

by Marilyn K. Martin

Welcome to the Bizarre World of "Mascots" for Sports Teams: Part A

The good and the bad of college and pro sports mascots.

Editor's Letters: Tips and Thoughts from Readers

by ComputorEdge Staff

Computer and Internet tips, plus comments on the articles and columns.

"Cloud Drives," "SkyDrive Desktop," "Printing Web Mail E-mail," "iTunes Organization"

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Digital Dave

“Digital Dave answers your tech questions.”
by Digital Dave

E-mail Attachments; Missing Drive; Recovering Deleted E-mails.

E-mail Attachments

Dear Digital Dave,

When I receive e-mail attachments I can't open them. Also I am unable to download files in Internet Explorer. A message comes up saying the files contain a virus and have been deleted. Can you help with these two problems?

Dave

Oceanside, CA

Dear Dave,

These two problems are most likely related to malware which has infected your machine. This one is called a ZeroAccess rootkit threat which tries to take control of your computer and further distribute more malware. If it is too late to do a "Restore to an Earlier Point", then you will need to take steps to clean up your computer.

There is a great deal of information on the Web about ZeroAccess removal and there is no way for me to determine which is best for you. Read over the information at MalwareTips, Microsoft Answers, and Tech Support All. Pick the solution that looks like it fits your situation. It may take a few tries, but there are many more possible fixes. Just Google "ZeroAccess removal" for more options.

Digital Dave

Missing Drive

Dear Digital Dave,

I have an old, I think 2009, Toshiba external 250 K [GB?] USB [hard?] drive. I did not load the software when I got it, since it was used with Acronis TrueImage. The drive letter got lost in one of my restores of Win 7 32. Now I can't find any way to access it. Toshiba doesn't remember either the serial or model when I try to ask them about it. I'd like to be able to use it for some long-term backup work. Any suggestions on how to access it? The hardware is Biostar TA87ou3+.

Thanks,

Bonnell Frost

Loveland, CO

Dear Bonnell,

I'm assuming that it is actually a 250GB USB hard drive since a 250K flash drive wouldn't be worth hassling with for backup. (I don't think 250K flash drives exist. That's floppy disk territory.) But in any case, my first recommendation would be the same.

Sometimes the logical drive letters (C:, D:, etc.) get lost—usually because two drives have inadvertently been assigned the same drive letter. However, your computer should still be recognizing the USB hard drive when you plug it in—you just can't see it. You need to assign the drive a new letter.

Open Computer Management (Start => Administrative Tools => Computer Management). The easiest way to open it may be to type "computer management" into the "Search programs and files" field in the Start menu and select it from the list. When the window opens, select Disk Management from the Storage section of the in the navigation pane (see Figure 1). (You can also access Disk Management directly through the Start Search field.)

Figure 1. Drive letters can be reassigned in Disk Management.

The Disk0, Disk1, etc. that you see on the left are the physical drives that the computer sees. Hopefully, one of them will be the Toshiba drive, either without a letter assignment or a duplicate assignment. Right-click on that drive and select "Change Drive Letter and Paths..." Change it to a letter not in use.

If this doesn't make the drive appear or there is no drive being detected that matches the Toshiba, then there is a problem with the computer detecting the drive at all. In that case, there could be a problem with the drive itself—either hardware or software.

Digital Dave

Recovering Deleted E-mails

Dear Digital Dave,

I enjoy your column every time I receive it. Thanks for your efforts. I am running Outlook Express 6 on a XP/SP3 computer (I know it's an antique, but I run a lot of ham radio programs that love XP). Somehow, I had about 900+ e-mails deleted from my Inbox. Is there a way to recover those lost e-mails? Any assistance would be greatly appreciated. I hope you can provide an answer. Maybe there are other OE6 Users who may need the same kind of help.

Keep up the good work. Thanks.

Dick Thompson

Colorado Springs, CO

Dear Dick,

When you delete an e-mail in Outlook Express it is sent to the internal Trash (deleted items) folder where it is fairly easy to restore them. But I'm guessing that the Trash folder was also emptied. In that situation you need another program that can recover deleted files.

Recuva has a specific feature for recovering deleted e-mails and putting them in individual files in the EML format. A program such as this may be your best bet—if you haven't overwritten the deleted data.

There are numerous undelete programs available and other readers may have more recommendations. Recuva is one of the most highly rated and has a free version.

Digital Dave

ClipJump, the Free Windows Clipboard Manager

“ClipJump Clipboard Manager Has a Number of Advantages”
by Jack Dunning

Not everyone needs a Clipboard manager, but if you find that you are constantly using copy-and-paste, then ClipJump may be just the ticket for you.

The Clipboard in Windows is pretty rudimentary, but most people are familiar with it and use it regularly (copy-and-paste). If you want to copy something to memory use CTRL+C. To paste the copied item into a new location use CTRL+V. These may be the only hotkey combinations that we can remember. While almost anything can be saved to the Clipboard (text, images, files, folders, etc.), it can only hold one item (or one group in the case of files) at a time. This often means jumping back and forth between a source window and the final destination—using CRTL+C at one end and CTRL+V at the other. That's why there are a number of utility apps called Clipboard managers available for Windows computers.

I've glanced at Clipboard managers before, but have never taken a close look. It all just seemed like more complication and a new system to learn. I probably wouldn't have paid much attention to this latest one, ClipJump, except that it's written in AutoHotkey—which is absolutely the best free Windows utility software ever. (If you're not familiar with AutoHotkey, then you may want to check out this Review and Guide for Beginners). I have confidence in AutoHotkey because I can review the source code and compile it myself if necessary. (I have not done that review with ClipJump, but there are others at the AutoHotkey forum who have.) Plus, once compiled, the apps are completely portable on Windows computers and run without making any Registry alterations. When I saw ClipJump in the AutoHotkey forum, I decide to investigate further. The app turns out to be good enough to highlight for ComputorEdge readers—especially for those who use frequently the Windows Clipboard for the same clips or repetitive items.

Reasons for Using ClipJump

It is best that I give my reasons for liking ClipJump upfront. That way you can decide if it's worth your time to read the installation and operation instructions that follow in this article. Many people who don't use the Clipboard much may have little use for it—especially if they only occasionally do a cut-and-paste. Also, if you have a number of AutoHotkey snippets running which use the Clipboard, you may find that ClipJump saves too much data. (Short of exiting ClipJump, there is another app called ClipJump Controller which allows the disabling of ClipJump when it's not needed.) Here are the strong points of ClipJump that I see:

1. If I want to do a regular copy-and-paste, I still use the same CTRL+C and CTRL+V keys that I've always used. Nothing new to learn for basic pasting. In fact, it is quite possible to not even notice that ClipJump is saving all of the clips until you go looking for them.

2. It works for all types of files and data just as the regular Clipboard does.

3. I can set up Channels of clips that apply to certain types of work. For example, I can have clips (formatted links, images, e-mail address, etc.) for ComputorEdge and AutoHotkey in separate groups which I can access whenever needed by merely changing the channel.

4. When pasting (CTRL+V) I can cycle through the saved clips, each displaying a thumbnail of the image or text. This is done by continuing to hold down the CTRL key while hitting the V key (C for reverse).

5. ClipJump maintains a current history allowing me to directly access, preview, and use (paste) recent clips without activating the CTRL+V key combination.

6. Using a special key combination (initially CTRL+ALT+F), I can copy the contents of a file rather than the file. That means I can copy an image or text from its file directly to the clipboard without first opening the file. As is the case with the normal CTRL+V, the success of the paste operation depends upon what format the target program will accept.

7. Clips can be exported to special files for either later reuse or sharing with other ClipJump users.

If none of these features appeal to you, then you probably don't need a Clipboard manager—even though it is free.

About ClipJump

ClipJump is written and maintained by Avi Aryan through his Blog and the AutoHotkey forum. He is active on the AutoHotkey forum and just recently released the latest version of ClipJump (8.7) as of this writing. The little time I have taken to review the free app has convinced me that it is not only worthy of inclusion in my own list of favorite Windows tools, but should be discussed in ComputorEdge.

Downloading ClipJump.

The first step is to download the latest version of ClipJump. Once downloaded you'll notice that the file has a 7Z (7-Zip) extension (Clipjump.7z) rather than the standard ZIP extension for compressed files. 7-Zip is an open source file archiver which is commonly used. Windows will not recognize how to open a 7Z file without special software installed. I wouldn't use the Windows option to find a compatible program on the Web. If you let Windows search the Web for recommendations, the listings will either be commercial versions (not free) of file compression software or lame. Just go to the 7-Zip site and download the free, open source program and install it. You may need to assign 7-Zip as the default program for opening files with the 7Z extension.

Once the ClipJump.exe file is extracted from the downloaded 7Z file, move the folder (called ClipJump) to where you want it to maintain the Clipboard files—possibly the Documents folder. You're ready to run the program by double clicking the program icon.

Running ClipJump

Once ClipJump is loaded, a small target icon appears in the Windows System Tray on the right side of the Taskbar. Right-click on the icon to open the menu (see Figure 1). The menu gives you a number of useful options including Clipboard history and Select Channel.

Figure 1. Right-click on the target icon in the Windows System Tray to open the ClipJump menu.

Notice that Clipboard history can also be opened with the hotkey combination WIN+C (+C) and Select Channel is opened with the hotkey combination SHIFT+CTRL+C. Many hotkey combinations can be changed in the Settings window.

Pasting (CTRL+V) in ClipJump

When a copy (CTRL+C) is executed, the text, image, or file is placed in the Windows Clipboard as well as ClipJump. An entry is also made in the ClipJump Clipboard History. There is a Tooltip which pops up telling you that it is being place in ClipJump, but it went by so fast that I couldn't read it.

When you move to the new location for the paste (CTRL+V), if you quickly execute and release the pasta combination (CTRL+V), it will work just like a normal paste. However, if you continue to hold down the CTRL key, a window with clip information (or thumbnail) will pop up showing the clip, see Figure 2.

Figure 2. Continue to hold down CTRL while hitting the other option keys (V for forward, C for back) cycle through the clips in ClipJump.

Each time you hit the V key, ClipJump cycles to the next clip. If you release the CTRL key the selected clip will be pasted into the document or window. The circled Tooltip in Figure 2 displays the channel (in curly brackets) and the number of the clip in the channel (Clip 3 or 10).

To reverse the cycle of clips, hit the C key rather than the V key. To cancel the paste, hit X once and release CTRL. To delete the clip from the list, hit X twice and release CTRL. To delete all the clips from the active channel, hit X three times and release CTRL. Hit X one more time to return to cancel paste. Remember all of these command are available after the first CTRL+V while continuing to hold down the CTRL key.

Hitting S while in the ClipJump paste mode savesc the current ClipJump clip to the System Clipboard. This is useful in programs where a paste must be done through a menu item. The E key will export the clip to a file which can be shared or used later.

ClipJump Clipboard History

Clipboard History is another way to work with the ClipJump clips without using the paste (CTRL+V) operation. Open Clipboard History with WIN+C (+C) or the System Tray right-click menu shown in Figure 1. (While the Clipboard History key combination can't be changed in the Settings window, it can be changed by editing the appropriate line in the settings.ini file found in the working folder.) Clipboard History is updated every time a new clip is added to any channel. It operates independently of the channels, so deleting the history will not delete the clips in the channels.

Once the Clipboard History window is open, right-click on a selected clip for options (see Figure 3).

Figure 3. The right-click options in ClipJump's Clipboard History are Preview the clip, Copy the clip to the Windows Clipboard, Insta-Paste to the last active Window, Export the clip to a file for sharing or later use, and Delete the clip from the history.

While many clips are listed in the history by their content, images need to be viewed with the Preview option which opens a new window with a view similar to the original, although it may be distorted by the fixed size of the Preview window (see Figure 4). Preview mode is also available by double-clicking any clip or clicking the Preview button at the top when the clip is selected.

Figure 4. When selecting Preview or double-clicking a clip listed in the ClipJump Clipboard History, a Preview window opens.

Note that at virtually every step it is possible to copy (CTRL+C) a clip to the Windows Clipboard (Copy in Clipboard History right-click menu and Copy to Clipboard button in the Preview window).

Any clip in the Clipboard History can be sent to the cursor location in the last active window with the Insta-Paste option (or press SPACE while the clip is selected in the history). This is a handy way to reuse clips without copying them into the Windows Clipboard or searching for them through the ClipJump paste operation (CTRL+V).

Export a Clip to a File

The next option in ClipJump Clipboard History right-click menu is Export Clip (CTRL+E). This is the same Export option available when hitting E during the ClipJump paste (CTRL+V) operation. Export Clip creates a file with the CJ extension (exportx.cj where x is an incremented number). This file is saved in the Documents folders and can be shared with others or used at another time. The files can then be renamed to make them easy to remember and placed in a related folder for future use. To import the saved CJ file back into ClipJump, select the file in Windows Explorer and use the "Copying File content to Clipjump" feature (CTRL+ALT+F).

Copying File Content to Clipjump

"Copying File content to Clipjump" may be one of the more useful features of ClipJump. Rather than copying the file itself, the content of the file is moved into ClipJump and the Windows Clipboard. Then images, text and other content can be pasted directly into documents without first opening the file. It is also used to retrieve the content of the CJ export files.

ClipJump Channels

A ClipJump channel is an isolated section of ClipJump which stores clips while it is active. This is convenient for saving related clips for later use. When adding clips to any channel they are also added to the Clipboard History—although not the other channels. When using the ClipJump paste operation (CTRL+V) only the clips in the active channel are accessed. The channels are created and change with the ClipJump Channels window, SHIFT+CTRL+C (see Figure 5).

Figure 5. ClipJump channels are created and changed in the ClipJump Channels window. The number of clips in a selected channel appears at the bottom of the window.

By default ClipJump starts with one channel (0) and this channel should be used for all regular ClipJump operations. All clips are placed in this default channel until a second channel (1) is create and activated. However, you can only set up additional channels one at a time. (I noted that I had to restart ClipJump one time after the first load to make the second channel (1) available.) Once you rename a new channel and restart ClipJump again another channel becomes available. There is no limit on the number of possible channels.

If you want a particular clip to always appear in the same location in a particular channel sequence (most likely the first few locations) while using the ClipJump pasting operation (CTRL+V), then the Fixate feature should be used. To Fixate a clip hit SPACE while in the ClipJump paste sequence. Hitting it again will remove the Fixate option. The word [FIXED] will appear in the clip data window during the paste sequence.

ClipJump Settings

There are a number of ClipJump settings which are directly accessible through the Settings option in Systems Tray icon right-click menu (see Figure 6). The ClipJump Settings window allows the changing of a number of limits as well as many of the hotkey combinations.

Figure 6. ClipJump settings are directly accessible through the Settings option window.

Final Thoughts

I would recommend that anyone who wants to get the most out of ClipJump read the accompanying documentation. I usually start off without reading the manual and this time it stumped me until I understood the ClipJump system—especially the CTRL+V sequence. Once I realized how it worked, it made perfect sense.

If I were to add anything to the right-click menu, it would be a disable button. Since I have many simple AutoHotkey routines that I use in writing and editing which make use to Windows Clipboard, ClipJump can get junked up with all kinds of things I don't need. The solution is to disable ClipJump when it's not needed.

Fortunately there is another app called ClipJump Controller which makes this easy. Whenever I want to use my saved clips or add more, I enable ClipJump. When I'm busy with other operation, I turn ClipJump off with the controller. ClipJump Controller works from both a GUI (Graphic User Interface) and a command line. (In the future, I will probably put the command line code into an AutoHotkey hotkey combination to toggle ClipJump on and off.)

Other people may use Clipboard managers that they feel are better than ClipJump—and they may be right. But I can certainly see how ClipJump could become a very important tool for many people who need to make repetitive copy-and-paste operations. I've already added it to my bag of AutoHotkey tricks.

If you would like get a taste of what else AutoHotkey can do, then check out "AutoHotkey Scripts and Apps for Learning Script Writing and Generating Ideas" for just a few free samples.

Jack is the publisher of ComputorEdge Magazine. He's been with the magazine since first issue on May 16, 1983. Back then, it was called The Byte Buyer. His Web site is www.computoredge.com. He can be reached at ceeditor@computoredge.com. Jack is now in the process of updating and compiling his hundreds of articles and columns into e-books. Currently available:

Just Released! Hidden Windows Tools for Protecting, Problem Solving and Troubleshooting Windows 8, Windows 7, Windows Vista, and Windows XP Computers.

Jack's A Beginner's Guide to AutoHotkey, Absolutely the Best Free Windows Utility Software Ever!: Create Power Tools for Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 7 and Windows 8 and Digging Deeper Into AutoHotkey.

Our second compilation of stupid ComputorEdge cartoons from 2011 and 2012 is now available at Amazon! That Does Not Compute, Too! ComputorEdge Cartoons, Volume II: "Do You Like Windows 8 or Would You Prefer an Apple?"

Currently only at Amazon.com, Jack's Favorite Free Windows Programs: What They Are, What They Do, and How to Get Started!.

Available from Amazon, Misunderstanding Windows 8: An Introduction, Orientation, and How-to for Windows 8! Also available at Barnes and Noble and ComputorEdge E-Books.

Available exclusively from Amazon, Windows 7 Secrets Four-in-One E-Book Bundle,

Getting Started with Windows 7: An Introduction, Orientation, and How-to for Using Windows 7,

Sticking with Windows XP—or Not? Why You Should or Why You Should Not Upgrade to Windows 7,

and That Does Not Compute!, brilliantly drawn cartoons by Jim Whiting for really stupid gags by Jack about computers and the people who use them.

Build Your Own Special Purpose Calculator

“These Simple Calorie Count Techniques Show How to Do Calculations with AutoHotkey”
by Jack Dunning

You could use a spreadsheet to for repetitive calculations, but wouldn't it be great to have a specialized AutoHotkey pop-up calculator? The Calorie Count app shows you the basics of how to do it.

If I had a particular calculation that I made all of the time, I might put the formula into a spreadsheet (Excel, OpenOffice Calc, etc). Then I could open the spreadsheet whenever needed, plug in the parameters and get an instant result. But now that I use AutoHotkey, making a specialized calculator might make more sense. I could then use a pop-up calculator window which does exactly what I want it to do.

A pricing and estimating calculator for a business comes to mind. Most businesses have their own way of figuring out how much to charge their customers and clients. Some are so complex that there are specialized programs designed to account for the design while including prices from manufacturer's catalogs (WinBidPro for fenestration). However, there are often repetitive calculations which could be put into an AutoHotkey GUI window (wholesale price plus fixed markup and G &A to get customer price) quickly making real-time quotes possible. If you find that you are often using a regular calculator to figure something, then you may want to write your own AutoHotkey calculating app.

If AutoHotkey is new to you, but you would like to learn more, see A Review and Guide for Beginners.

Calculating Calories

As a simple example of how AutoHotkey can do calculations on the fly, we return to the Calorie Count app. (The code for the entire CalorieCount.ahk script can be found at the ComputorEdge AutoHotkey Dropbox download Web site.) There are two sets of calculations found in the Calorie Count app. The first is done when food details are imported from the Web into the app (see Figure 1). The second is the running total maintained in the last column of the ListView window.

Figure 1. When food is imported into the Calorie count app the total calories are automatically calculated and displayed next to the text "Calories." The Total Calories column in the ListView is recalculated every time there is a change.

The Food Information group shown at the bottom of the window is about as simple as a specialized calculator can get. It multiplies the number of calories per serving (Calories/Servings) by the number of servings (Number Servings). This occurs automatically every time either Calories/Servings or Number Servings change.

The AutoHotkey code that sets up this automatic calculation starts with the GUI commands for the individual edit fields:

Gui, Add, Text, xp-100 yp+28, Calories/Serving

Gui, Add, Edit, w50 xp+100 yp-3 vFood4 number gTotalCalCalc right,

Gui, Add, Text, xp+70 yp+3 , Number Servings

Gui, Add, Edit, w50 xp+100 yp-3 vFood5 gTotalCalCalc right,

Gui, Add, Text, xp+70 yp+3, Calories

Gui, Add, Text, w50 xp+50 yp vFood6

The key to the calculation is the label (subroutine) option gTotalCalCalc which appears in both Gui, Add, Edit lines. Whenever the value of either edit field changes the g-label TotalCalCalc: is triggered.

If you have an AutoHotkey script with more calculations, then it's merely a matter of triggering the same subroutine with each variable. In this case there are only two variables, but there could be many more with various mathematical relationships (addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, etc.) as long as the subroutine handles all the calculations in the proper order. The final answer is plugged into the variable Food6 (Food4*Food5).

The TotalCalCalc: label is as follows:

TotalCalCalc:        ;Calculate total calories

Gui, Submit, NoHide

TotalCalVal := Round(Food4 * Food5)

GuiControl, ,Food6, %TotalCalVal%

Return

This subroutine is executed by the CTRL++ALT+C food import hotkey combination because the value of either Food4 or Food5 changes when the data is imported to the fields. After that, every time an adjustment is made in either edit field, the Calories at the end of the GUI immediate updates.

First the Gui, Submit command saves the values in the fields to their respective variables.

Second, since the total calories must appear as whole calories the Round() function is used to save the value of TotalCalVal. This is to eliminate decimals if the number of servings is not an integer, say 1.5 servings.

Lastly, the text object and variable Food6 is updated using the GuiControl command immediately displaying the result.

It's that simple. While the calculations can get much more complicated, the underlying principles for making a specialized calculator are the same as shown here for the Calorie Count app.

Updating Total Calories in ListView

The ListView box in Calorie Count maintains a running total of all calories consumed for the day. Every time a food is added, deleted or modified, this Total Calories column must be updated. When a new food item is added, the new calories (calculate below) must be added to the previous calorie total and displayed at the end of the Total Calories column (see Figure 2). It is a more complicated process than the previous calculation at the bottom of the window in Food Information because the subroutine must loop through all of the food items affected by the change.

Figure 2. When a new food item is added to the list, the new calories must be added to the Total Calories column.

The Total Calories column is not saved in the data file. It is recalculated every time it is displayed. The first time the running total calculation is made is when a particular day is displayed. Found in the loop within the LoadWindow() function in the CalorieCount.ahk script are the following lines of code:

If LV_GetCount() = 0

LastTotalCal := 0

LV_Add("", RowData1,RowData2,RowData3,RowData4

,RowData5,RowData6,Round((RowData4*RowData5)+LastTotalCal))

LastTotalCal := (RowData4*RowData5)+LastTotalCal

NextRow += 1

Before loading any rows to the list, Total Calories is 0. Before any rows are added, the value of LV_GetCount() is 0. If LV_GetCount() is 0, then the variable LastTotalCal is initiated at zero (LastTotalCal := 0). From this point on LastTotalCal is used in calculating the running total within the LV_Add() function (Round((RowData4*RowData5)+LastTotalCal)). To ensure that the value of LastTotalCal is always current, it is updated with the same formula (LastTotalCal := (RowData4*RowData5)+LastTotalCal). This continues until the loop reaches the end of the list.

The solution is slightly different when new food items are added, modified or deleted. The simplest solution is when a new food item is added because all that is needed is to add the new calories to the old total calories as shown in Figure 2. The following code is part of the AddItem: label in the CaloriesCount.ahk script:

If LV_GetCount() = 0

LastTotalCal := 0

Else

LV_GetText(LastTotalCal,LV_GetCount(),7)

.

.

Food7 := Round((Food4*Food5)+LastTotalCal)

LV_Add("", Food1,Trim(Food2),Trim(Food3),Trim(Food4)

,Trim(Food5),Round(Food6),Round(Food7))

The ListView function LV_GetCount() without parameters returns the number of rows in the ListView. If LV_GetCount() = 0 then LastTotalCal := 0. Otherwise, the value of the last Total Calories is retrieved with LV_GetText(LastTotalCal,LV_GetCount(),7) from column number 7. The same formula is used for calculating the new value Food7 := Round((Food4*Food5)+LastTotalCal) and added with the new row using the ListView LV_Add() function.

For modified or deleted food items the Total Calories column must be recalculated from the point of modification or deletion. In both case this row number has been saved with:

SelectedRow := LV_GetNext()

which is found in both the EditItem: and DeleteItem: labels. The variable SelectedRow not only tells the script which item is being modified or deleted, but it also marks the starting point for recalculating the Total Calories column.

Confession: I just noticed that I never added the necessary recalculation loop to the DeleteItem: label. That means it does not update the Total Calories column after a deletion. However, changing the date to another day and back again will update the column with the LoadWindow() function. I need to fix that.

When a food item is edited and updated in the AddItem: label, the Total Calories recalculates using the following code:

If SelectedRow = 1

LastTotalCal := 0

Else

LV_GetText(LastTotalCal,SelectedRow-1,7)

Food7 := Round((Food4*Food5)+LastTotalCal)

and the following loop:

LV_GetText(LastTotalCal, SelectedRow , 7)

Loopnum := LV_GetCount()-SelectedRow

Loop, %Loopnum%

{

LV_GetText(Food6, SelectedRow+A_index , 6)

Food7 := Round(Food6)+Round(LastTotalCal)

LV_Modify(SelectedRow+A_index,"Col7", Food7 )

LV_GetText(LastTotalCal, SelectedRow+A_index , 7)

}

These snippets use logic similar to that for loading the original list except that it uses SelectedRow as the starting point. Since both the SelectedRow and the number of rows varies, the A_Index loop variable which increments by 1 each time the loop increments is used to track progress in the loop. The number of loops depends upon how many rows appear in the ListView after SelectedRow (Loopnum := LV_GetCount()-SelectedRow). The ListView function LV_Modify() rather than LV_Add() is used to update the Total Calories column (7) in each incremented row.

This same logic should work for the DeleteItem: label. I may put the code into a function so I can use the same snippet with both labels. I haven't decided yet.

These relatively simple calculation techniques are the heart of building AutoHotkey calculators. The ListView approach shown could be used to create amortization tables for mortgages. Amortization tables are merely a running total which recalculates the principal and interest over the life of the loan until the principal amount reaches zero.

The snippets of code appearing in this column can be found in context in the CalorieCount.ahk file found in the CalorieCount.zip file found at the ComputorEdge AutoHotkey Dropbox download Web site. For more educational AutoHotkey scripts see "AutoHotkey Scripts and Apps for Learning Script Writing and Generating Ideas."

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Now available in e-book format from Amazon, Jack's A Beginner's Guide to AutoHotkey, Absolutely the Best Free Windows Utility Software Ever!: Create Power Tools for Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 7 and Windows 8.

Building Power Tools for Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 7 and Windows 8, AutoHotkey is the most powerful, flexible, free Windows utility software available. Anyone can instantly add more of the functions that they want in all of their Windows programs, whether installed on their computer or while working on the Web. AutoHotkey has a universality not found in any other Windows utility—free or paid.

Based upon the series of articles in ComputorEdge, Jack takes you through his learning experience as he explores writing simple AutoHotkey scripts for adding repetitive text in any program or on the Web, running programs with special hotkeys or gadgets, manipulating the size and screen location of windows, making any window always-on-top, copying and moving files, and much more. Each chapter builds on the previous chapters.

For an EPUB (iPad, NOOK, etc.) version of A Beginner's Guide to AutoHotkey click here!

For a PDF version for printing on letter size paper for inclusion in a standard notebook of A Beginner's Guide to AutoHotkey click here!

*                    *                    *

Jack's latest AutoHotkey book which is comprised of updated, reorganized and indexed columns from the last six months is now available at Amazon for Kindle hardware (or free software) users. Since the columns were not all written in a linear fashion, the book has been reorganized and broken up into parts by topic. The book is not for the complete beginner since it builds on the information in A Beginner's Guide to AutoHotkey. However, if a person is reasonably computer literate, they could go directly to this book for ideas and techniques without the first book.

If you've been following along with my AutoHotkey columns, then there is little new information in the book (although I have added more clarification for techniques I felt were either confusing or wrong). The only reason I can see to buy it would be as a handy reference. The AutoHotkey commands used are included in a special index to the chapters in which they appear. Even I can't remember everything I wrote.

For an EPUB (iPad, NOOK, etc.) version of Digging Deeper into AutoHotkey click here!

For a PDF version for printing on letter size paper for inclusion in a standard notebook of Digging Deeper into AutoHotkey click here!

Jack is the publisher of ComputorEdge Magazine. He's been with the magazine since first issue on May 16, 1983. Back then, it was called The Byte Buyer. His Web site is www.computoredge.com. He can be reached at ceeditor@computoredge.com. Jack is now in the process of updating and compiling his hundreds of articles and columns into e-books. Currently available:

Just Released! Hidden Windows Tools for Protecting, Problem Solving and Troubleshooting Windows 8, Windows 7, Windows Vista, and Windows XP Computers.

Jack's A Beginner's Guide to AutoHotkey, Absolutely the Best Free Windows Utility Software Ever!: Create Power Tools for Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 7 and Windows 8 and Digging Deeper Into AutoHotkey.

Our second compilation of stupid ComputorEdge cartoons from 2011 and 2012 is now available at Amazon! That Does Not Compute, Too! ComputorEdge Cartoons, Volume II: "Do You Like Windows 8 or Would You Prefer an Apple?"

Currently only at Amazon.com, Jack's Favorite Free Windows Programs: What They Are, What They Do, and How to Get Started!.

Available from Amazon, Misunderstanding Windows 8: An Introduction, Orientation, and How-to for Windows 8! Also available at Barnes and Noble and ComputorEdge E-Books.

Available exclusively from Amazon, Windows 7 Secrets Four-in-One E-Book Bundle,

Getting Started with Windows 7: An Introduction, Orientation, and How-to for Using Windows 7,

Sticking with Windows XP—or Not? Why You Should or Why You Should Not Upgrade to Windows 7,

and That Does Not Compute!, brilliantly drawn cartoons by Jim Whiting for really stupid gags by Jack about computers and the people who use them.

Wally Wang's Apple Farm

“The Deception of Appearances”
by Wally Wang

The Deception of Appearances; Why Microsoft Bought Nokia's Smartphone Business; Visual Basic for iOS; Soviet Posters; Sticky Keys.

When rumors of Apple's iPhone started circulating in 2006, Palm's CEO, Ed Colligan, dismissed Apple's smartphone. "We've learned and struggled for a few years here figuring out how to make a decent phone," he said. "PC guys are not going to just figure this out. They're not going to just walk in." Now Palm is dead while Apple's iPhone business continues expanding its worldwide share with Japan's largest carrier, NTT Docomo.

When Apple introduced the iPhone in 2007, Steve Ballmer, Microsoft's CEO, laughed at it because it didn't have a physical keyboard (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eywi0h_Y5_U). Steve Ballmer further claimed, "There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No chance." Now Windows Mobile is dead and Windows Phone 8 has a market share in the single digits.

Gary Krakow, TheStreet.com's senior technology correspondent, even insisted that the only way the iPhone would get corporate customers would be if "Steve Jobs has to bite the bullet... He's either gotta get BlackBerry on there or Windows Mobile on there. It's the entire answer." Blackberry is dying and Windows Mobile is dead, but the iPhone keeps attracting more corporate customers. (Not surprisingly, TheStreet.com has pulled the video of Gary Krakow making this statement off their site, apparently to keep from undermining Gary Krakow's credibility as their senior technology correspondent. Refusing to acknowledge their mistakes is a common tactic with critics so their own words don't expose their illogical thinking in hindsight, which is how dictatorships conveniently erase history to make themselves look good in the present.)

When Apple first introduced the iPad, Mike Halsey wrote that the iPad would fail and its failure would help sell Windows 7 tablets. Mike Halsey even said "If I were Steve Ballmer today, I'd be splashing out on an extra skiing holiday." Of course if you look for Mike Halsey's original statement predicting the failure of the iPad, you won't find it anymore because it too has mysteriously disappeared off the Everything Microsoft Web site.

In 2010, Apple introduced the iPad and critics dismissed tablets as inferior to netbooks. Now you see plenty of rivals making similar tablets while hardly anyone sells netbooks anymore. How could people see the introduction of the iPhone and the iPad as complete failures, only to later realize how revolutionary they really were in hindsight?

At Apple's latest event, the company introduced the iPhone 5S and 5C. Right away, critics pounced on these latest models with Microsoft even making a series of mocking videos that they later pulled off the Internet. How much money did Microsoft waste making these videos? Even worse, these videos simply mock the iPhone without demonstrating a single reason why someone should use Windows Phone 8. Why does Microsoft continue spending money on ineffective ads when they could spend that same amount of money developing products that are easy to use that people actually want?

Yet what critics missed at Apple's latest event is the real news. It's not the fancy colors of the different iPhone 5C models or the gold color of the iPhone 5S. Despite what The Motley Fool thinks, it has nothing to do with not coming out with a lower cost iPhone for the emerging markets or having a bigger screen.

A bigger screen is just a trivial improvement while increasing the size of the phone and the need for a larger battery to power that bigger screen all day long. Apple also doesn't need to grab the largest market share by offering lower priced iPhones since people who shop solely on price tend to be the least desirable customers of all who cause the most trouble by demanding the most service while giving you the least amount of profits in return for the least amount of loyalty.

What's really important, that critics completely overlooked, is the move of the iPhone 5S to a 64-bit processor. Where Apple is heading is exactly where Microsoft is heading.

Microsoft actually has an accurate track record for predicting the future as these old concept videos demonstrate. Where Microsoft repeatedly fails is with their execution of their ideas. Rather than create software and hardware optimized for a specific task, Microsoft prefers the jack-of-all trades but master of none approach.

Microsoft beat Apple to the tablet computer market by ten years, but these early Tablet PCs were heavy and bulky with software designed more for laptops and less for touch. Microsoft also beat Apple to the smartphone market with Windows Mobile, but Microsoft tried to cram the Windows Start menu into the tiny screen of the smartphone, which made Windows Mobile clumsy to use.

Microsoft's vision with Windows 8 is to provide one operating system and one user interface that works on any device. Where Microsoft is failing once again is their insistence that a desktop operating system can be crammed into a smaller form factor and still be completely usable. This is no different than those Tablet PC designs that were a combination tablet/laptop, but were too heavy to use as a tablet and too expensive as a laptop. By not being very good tablets or laptops, Tablet PCs weren't good at anything.

Naturally, Microsoft's love of complexity compels them to cram a touch interface on Windows 8 so now you have an operating system that runs desktop programs on a touch interface, which makes for a frustrating and clumsy experience. Microsoft's ultimate dream is to have Windows 8 run on a PC, tablet, and smartphone.

And that's exactly the same vision that Apple is pursuing by moving the iPhone 5S (and the next iPad) to 64-bit processors.

The PC market recently shifted from 32-bit processors to 64-bit processors, which gives the processor access to more memory along with the ability to calculate faster and more efficiently. On the iPhone 5S, a 64-bit processor means you now have the power of a desktop computer in a smartphone package. When Apple releases new iPad models later this fall, these new iPads will also have 64-bit processors.

Unlike everyone else, Apple designs their own operating system and processor, so they can tweak their processors to optimize running their operating systems. In comparison, everyone else has to use off the shelf parts that aren't optimized for anything. Then they have to wait for Google to update Android to run as a 64-bit operating system to take advantage of 64-bit processors. Since most Android apps are written in Java, Android developers also have to wait for Oracle to update the Java virtual machine to run Java apps on 64-bit processors.

While Microsoft struggles to cram desktop programs, not optimized for touch, to work with a touch interface, Apple is designing software optimized for touch, but which can also work perfectly well with a keyboard and a trackpad or mouse.

With the processor in the iPhone and iPad getting nearly as powerful as desktop computers, that means you will soon be able to dock your iPhone/iPad into a full size monitor with a keyboard and mouse, and use your iPhone/iPad like a PC of today. Then undock your iPhone/iPad and use it on the road where it's optimized for touch interface. You'll basically have one device to do everything.

Load a program like AutoCAD into an iPhone and you won't be able to run it, just like you can't run iPad-only apps on the iPhone. But once you dock your iPhone/iPad into a full size monitor and keyboard, you'll have a full blown PC capable of running today's PC type of software.

For light work, you can use Apple's free iWork office suite on your iPhone or iPad. Then dock your iPhone/iPad to a full size monitor and keyboard, and you can do more complex formatting. Undock your iPhone/iPad and you'll have all your data in your pocket wherever you go.

Today, many people have a desktop PC and then use a laptop for mobile computing. As more people get smartphones and tablets, desktop and laptop PCs are losing popularity. Once you can do everything on your iPhone/iPad depending on how you want to use it, there will be no need to use a dedicated desktop PC or laptop anymore. Why bother when you have an iPhone/iPad that can scale up to a full blown PC or shrink back down to a mobile device?

Here's a big clue from Apple's 64-bit iOS 7 documentation: "The architecture for 64-bit apps on iOS is almost identical to the architecture for OS X apps, making it easy to create a common code base that runs in both operating systems."

Write an OS X program then slap a touch-centric iOS user interface on it, and now you can take all your programs with you. Rather than try to cram a single user interface on everyone like Windows 8 is trying to do, iOS can now merge with OS X to provide the optimum user interface for the device you're using whether you need to use a tablet, smartphone, or a laptop computer.

On March 23, 2010, Apple got a patent on a docking station for a monitor designed to have a MacBook laptop slide into it. Substitute a MacBook laptop with a much smaller iPhone or iPad, and you get the same idea of having a docking station for your portable computing device.

Figure 1. Apple's patented docking station.

The reason critics missed the significance of Apple's latest announcements is because they're too focused on trivial improvements like bigger screens and different colors. They're completely missing the future of 64-bit processing staring at them right in their face, just like they missed the original significance of the iPhone and iPad. Critics are such poor predictors of the future due to their incredible lack of imagination that they take pride in showing off every chance they get until it's obvious how wrong they've been all this time. (Think of Gary Krakow claiming that the iPhone needed to run Blackberry OS or Windows Mobile to break into the corporate market, or Mike Halsey claiming that the failure of the iPad would increase Windows 7 sales.)

For everyone else, the iPhone 5S's switch to 64-bit processing means little for now, but just wait. When you have the power and capability of a PC in your pocket, that's the next revolution that Apple introduced, and that's what the critics will pretend they didn't miss in the coming years ahead.

If you think the world won't change, just look at this chart from Business Insider that shows how Windows once dominated the operating system market until gradually shrinking under the dual pressure of Android and iOS. With PC sales dropping every quarter under the pressure of smartphones and tablets (defined by the iPhone and iPad), does anyone still think that PCs will reign supreme for the rest of eternity? At one time, lots of critics dismissed the idea that PC sales would ever go down just like they dismissed the significance of the iPhone and iPad on mobile computing. Now those same critics are busy erasing and refusing to acknowledge evidence of their follies from the past, just like dictatorships embarrassed by their mistakes.

Figure 2. Windows is shrinking while Android and iOS are growing.

Why Microsoft Bought Nokia's Smartphone Business

When Microsoft decided to spend $7.2 billion buying Nokia's smartphone business, people wondered why. Now the reason might be that Nokia was experimenting with Android and might have been looking at selling Android phones as well as Windows Phone 8 phones.

Nokia's contract with Microsoft only lasted until 2014, at which point Nokia could have started offering phones running other operating systems. With Nokia being the dominant Windows Phone 8 phone seller, losing Nokia to Android would have meant even fewer marketing dollars keeping Windows Phone 8 in the public's eye. By buying Nokia, Microsoft can insure that Nokia keeps selling Windows Phone 8 phones instead of Android phones.

Windows Phone 8 isn't a bad operating system, but there's nothing compelling about it to convince an iPhone or Android user to switch. When there isn't a compelling reason to switch, how many people will switch? With most smartphone apps coming out on iOS and Android, there are plenty of reasons for Windows Phone 8 users to switch to Android or iOS.

With Microsoft selling Surface tablets, other manufacturers are turning away from Windows RT devices. With Microsoft selling Nokia phones, other manufacturers will likely put less effort trying to sell Windows Phone 8 phones.

Microsoft's mobile computing hopes rests solely on themselves. Given Microsoft's penchant for shooting themselves in the foot every chance they get, Microsoft's mobile computing future looks a lot less promising.

Visual Basic for iOS

When Microsoft introduced Visual Basic, they revolutionized software development by defining the whole idea of rapid application development (RAD). Then Microsoft introduced .NET, rewrote Visual Basic to look more like C#, and basically gave no one a reason to upgrade from Visual Basic 6 to VB.NET. Although .NET introduced C# as the main program for creating Windows applications. .NET single-handedly killed the thriving Visual Basic market.

Some Visual Basic programmers learned the more cryptic and less efficient syntax of VB.NET while others simply switched to C#. A handful of Visual Basic programmers switched to a near Visual Basic 6 clone called RealBASIC, which recently switched its name to Xojo.

Like Visual Basic 6, Xojo makes it easy to design a program's user interface visually and then write BASIC commands to make it actually work. Unlike Visual Basic 6, Xojo can run on Linux, Windows, and OS X. Even better, Xojo is coming out with iOS support so you can use the Visual Basic language to create iOS apps for the iPhone and iPad.

Although Xojo's iOS support won't arrive until later this year, you can already see the progress Xojo has made by viewing the demonstration video on the Xojo blog. Just drag and drop iOS controls on the screen, write BASIC commands to make it work, and you've just created an iOS app far faster than using Xcode and learning Objective-C.

By using Xojo to create iOS apps, you can leverage the simplicity of the BASIC programming language with the power of Visual Basic for visually designing your user interface.

Until Xojo for iOS arrives, you can practice using Xojo by downloading their free edition. When you want to compile your programs, that's when you can buy a license. Until then, you can use Xojo for free.

If you're interested in learning iOS programming but find Objective-C too confusing, get ready to start using Xojo. You may find that Xojo is the programming language that Microsoft should have created instead of VB.NET.

Figure 3. Xojo can visually design and create iOS apps.

Soviet Posters

It's often hard for many people to see the silliness in their own government's propaganda, but it's often much easier to see that same silliness in other country's propaganda. To see the blatant propaganda of the former Soviet Union, you can download the Soviet Posters app for iOS.

Figure 4. The Soviet Posters app lets you view Soviet Union propaganda posters by category.

Just browse through the different categories that catch your fancy and stare in amazement that anyone in the former Soviet Union could have believed the propaganda posters that their government put out. For more laughs, look at the advice the Soviet Union gave their citizens for surviving a nuclear attack.

Figure 5. The Soviet Posters app can show you how to survive a nuclear attack from the United States.

Once you see how silly propaganda from another country can look, you can better see (hopefully) how your own government's propaganda can look equally ridiculous. Or you can believe that only your government is completely right 100 percent of the time and everyone else on the planet is wrong 100 percent of the time, which is the way too many people actually think.

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To use keystroke shortcuts, you have to hold down one key while pressing another such as Command+S. Since many people have a hard time keeping both keys held down, you might want to turn on Sticky Keys.

Click the Apple menu and choose System Preferences. When a System Preferences window appears, click the Accessibility icon. Then click the Keyboard icon and finally select the "Enable Sticky Keys" check box.

Sticky Keys lets you press keys one after another and your Macintosh will treat two keys pressed sequentially as if you pressed them both at the same time. This can make keystroke shortcuts easier to use.

Figure 6. Turning on Sticky Keys can make keystroke commands easier to use.

In the early days, before Wally became an Internationally renowned comedian, computer book writer, and generally cool guy, Wally Wang used to hang around The Byte Buyer dangling participles with Jack Dunning and go to the gym to pump iron with Dan Gookin.

Wally is responsible for the following books:

My New Mac, Lion Edition

My New iPad 2

Steal This Computer Book

Microsoft Office 2010 For Dummies

Beginning Programming for Dummies

Beginning Programming All-in-One Reference for Dummies

Breaking Into Acting for Dummies with Larry Garrison

Strategic Entrepreneurism with Jon and Gerald Fisher

How to Live with a Cat (When You Really Don't Want To)

The Secrets of the Wall Street Stock Traders

Mac Programming For Absolute Beginners

Republican Fairy Tales (Children's Stories the 1% Tell About the Rest of Us)

The Zen of Effortless Selling with Moe Abdou

The 15-Minute Movie Method

Erotophobia (A novel)

In his spare time, Wally likes blogging about movies and writing screenplays at his site "The 15 Minute Movie Method." Wally can be reached at wally@computoredge.com.

Strange Costumes, Fist-Fights and Crowd-Pep

“Welcome to the Bizarre World of "Mascots" for Sports Teams: Part A”
by Marilyn K. Martin

The good and the bad of college and pro sports mascots.

One of the oddest parts of global culture, especially involving sports teams, are mascots. Although some teams use real animals that match their team name or slogan, most professional sports teams today hire live people inside of professionally designed and manufactured costumes. These costumed mascots are a (usually) humorous addition to the sidelines and even in the stands, for everything from crowd-pep and posing for photos, to merchandising and mock-fights—that sometimes aren't mock.

History of Mascots

According to Wikipedia, the word mascot had been traced back to the French word mascotte or mascoto, where it meant Good Luck in the form of a talisman or charm, or gamblers' slang meaning Bad Luck in the form of witchcraft and spells. Today's sports team mascots can occasionally show both sides.

In the Middle Ages, heraldry was the intricate art/science of designing coat-of-arms or other armorial-bearings, used to identify knights who were clad head to toe in armor. And heraldic charges are the figures on the shield of a coat-of-arms, many times showing animal mascots to hint at anthropomorphized traits embraced by that aristocratic family. Dangerous and strong predatory animals like lions and wolves were popular, as well as mythological and composite creatures. (So it's easy to see where "fighting spirit" mascots started for sports teams. And players do somewhat resemble battle knights, clad in uniforms, helmets and padding.)

According to FerreBeeKeeper.com, even bees and hornets were used as insignias or mascots throughout the ages. Besides their sting, these flying insects were also known for hard work and tenacity, as well as aggressively defending their hives with ferocity and single-minded purpose—even if that "all out" defense strategy resulted in their death. The vicious and blood-thirsty Italian Barberini family—which included one Pope known for poisoning the birds in the Vatican garden—had bees in their coat-of-arms, as did Napoleon. Insects aren't known as popular mascots today, but there are still the New Orleans Hornets basketball team and the London Wasps rugby team.

There is also the ancient shamanistic belief that if one wears the skin or image of an animal or nature-power (like lightning), one would absorb that animal's or nature-power's best known traits. In northern continents, primitive people liked wearing bear skins for their imagery, for strength and ferocity, since there weren't many lions or tigers around. Native Americans also believed in animal totems, where one animal was believed to share a personal or spiritual identity with a person. To Native Americans, the bear totem represented power, courage, freedom, protection and resourcefulness, among other traits. So wild animal mascots can also serve as a link to nature and our ancestors. (Think of all the screaming sports fans in the stands in body paint and team shirts and hats.)

Choosing a Team Name and Mascot

Mascots are inherently controversial, especially when representing sports teams. They have to personify the team name, usually chosen from some aspect of the local culture mixed with a fighting spirit idea as being a winning—or "sure tries hard"—team. Most professional sports teams choose names of everything from historical warriors (Spartans to Native American Indians), to predatory animals known for snarling menacingly with sharp canine teeth, and claws that can rip through concrete. Think Strength and Ferocity. The personified-mascot also can't be insulting or divisive, and must reflect positively on the sweaty guys out there trying to win a game for "The Cup Cake Capital of the World."

Pro teams' names, colors and mascots are carefully chosen with an eye to "brand identification," and making sure that warrior or animal would look "buyable" as a plush toy or bobblehead. The mascot costume is designed and manufactured by professional mascot costumers, and then (what must be) large and enthusiastic gymnasts are auditioned to play the costumed mascot on game day.

And above and beyond the fact that most of the "popular and appealing" animals and historical warriors names have already been snapped up by the pro teams, college team names and mascots can get downright strange. This is when you enter the Twilight Zone of mascots that are quasi-animal, anthropomorphized plants or food, or even quasi-phallic. Or perhaps just furry blobs with a name and a big smile.

As you go down the list to high schools or extremely-local teams, a mascot for a sports team can be chosen any number of ways, usually ending with a voting process involving "a show of raised hands." Then the team mascot's costume becomes an art class paper-mache project. Or a plea for whoever's mother or wife can buy the materials and sew the costume in four days for only $196.

Sports Teams and Native Americans

Early on, being America with our proud tradition of unpronounceable cities and towns named for abused Native Americans, professional teams latched on to Indian names. This has turned out to be a mixed blessing. The Washington Redskins are considered an "offensive" name off the field, and they are currently being asked to change their name/mascot. The Miami University basketball team in Oxford, Ohio used to be the Redskins too, but changed their name to the Redhawks. So they got to keep their team colors of red and white, and their now-bird mascot is named Swoop.

And although no one seems upset with the Kansas City Chiefs pro football team, they are sticking with a safe logo of "KC" in an outline of an arrowhead, and game day sees lots of fans in the stands with little tomahawks. While other teams with Indian mascots have been sanctioned and are supported by Native American tribes, like Florida State University's Chief Osceola and Renegade (presumably the horse). As well as the Utah Utes and the Michigan Hurons.

Super Fans and Mascot Performers

There is also another odd tradition in pro sports, where an occasional super-fan becomes so identified with a team that they become unofficial mascots, with or without a costume. Think Freddy Sez for the New York Yankees. And the Toronto Blue Jays' fan-made costume, BJ Birdie, was eventually hired by the team to perform at home games. In the UK, some teams have a rotating population of children for mascots, some of whom may have medical issues, appear as a "wish grant," or have won a contest.

Today, the "performers" who wear pro team mascot uniforms in the US have probably auditioned for that role. For college sports team mascots, a rotating population of students is sometimes used. While other college sports mascots have been merged with the cheerleading teams, and also have to attend summer cheerleading camps and learn gymnastic cheer routines. Like the Ohio University (in Athens) Bobcats, and their mascot Rufus the Bobcat.

When Sports Team Mascots Go Bad

How difficult can this job be? One day a week, you are paid to dress up as the team mascot for some sports team, and hit the sidelines to enthusiastically raise "team spirit" without molesting the cheerleaders. When times are good for the team, crowds cheer when Mr. Mascot comes onto the field. When times aren't so good, Mr. Mascot hits the local parks and streets to pass out flyers, begging people to come to the games. And if a bored Mr. Mascot occasionally dips into "spirits" stronger than Gatorade, the results can give new meaning to the idea of "masked wrestling."

The Tennessee Titans professional football team has a raccoon-like mascot called T-RAC (since the raccoon is the state animal of Tennessee). He can even run around the field in a little blue golf cart roadster with the team name. However, in August 2006, T-RAC was still toddling around in his little golf-roadster when halftime ended.

The New Orleans Saints quarterback, Adrian McPherson, was running from the locker room onto the field for the third quarter, and T-RAC and his golf-roadster ran over him. McPherson got up, but was later checked out by trainers on the sidelines, where it was determined that McPherson had a bruise/contusion. Needless to say, the Saints Coach Sean Payton wasn't happy. "He got run over by a mascot. When you play a game, your competition is the opponent. When we start having mascots driving around at halftime, then those are things that are bothersome." T-RAC declined to comment, although I'm sure someone at the Titans offered a formal apology.

Although mock battles between different teams' mascots are standard fare at some games, sometimes real fights break out between rival mascots, with grown men punching away at padded costumes while the audience assumes it's staged. In January 2011, the University of Oregon's Fighting Donald Duck ended up in a "mascot melee" with the Houston Cougar mascot in the season opener. Apparently the Cougar imitated one of the Fighting Duck's trademarks—push-ups for total points after each touchdown in front of the student section. Suddenly the Cougar mascot was on the ground being punched by the Duck mascot, and they had to be separated. Although several students rotated playing the Fighting Donald Duck, the mascot (costume) was suspended for one game.

In December 2012, the cross-town basketball rivalry between Louisville, Kentucky's Male High and DuPont Manual High ended up in a halftime brawl between the teams' mascots that had started out as "premeditated comedy." Suddenly the Ram and Bulldog mascots were pulling each other to the ground and throwing punches, and the crowd was on their feet cheering. Someone thankfully got the furry combatants separated, just as the crowd was beginning to spill onto the floor, and officials were quickly on the intercom asking people to return to their seats. (If you like watching men in padded mascot costumes throwing "real" punches, check out YouTube's collection of Mascot Fights.)

Marketing Mascots

Merchandising is a cash-cow for most sports teams, and stadium stores are full of expensive licensed team products, from clothing to mascot-based toys. Even online stores like Cafe Press has a winning formula with pink or blue teddy bears wearing t-shirt team advertising, like "I Drool Black and Gold." And for those strange pro team hats and team player dolls you only buy when drinking copious amounts of beer, check out Bizrate and eBay.

Mascot costumes (child or adult) can even be rented or purchased, for Halloween or birthday parties. Although most look like they belong in generic categories, since pro teams obviously don't want an "officially licensed" T-RAC costume being worn by a drunken fan when falling into a pool on Halloween. But college teams don't seem to have those concerns, and you are free to dress your toddler up as a Michigan State Spartan if you are willing to pony up $35 to Amazon.

College Team Mascots: Vintage to Graphically Sexual

The University of California at Berkley has Oski, the Golden Bear, named after the Oski Wow-Wow yell. Some complain that Oski looks like a grandpa, complete with old-fashioned cardigan and receding hairline. But the mascot is really just staying true to his look when created in 1941, when live bear mascots were officially retired. Alumni dollars must be more important than being trendy, since the University of Akron (Ohio) Zips (shortened from those new fangled things in the 1920s, Zippers) also have a vintage mascot in Zippy the kangaroo, complete with an old-fashioned blue letter-sweater and gold-and-blue beanie. (And they are staying the Zips, by golly, although in current slang it means "no score.")

For colleges founded in the 1960s, however, leftist-progressive genius was paramount, and arguing socialism was far superior to being associated with the thuggery of college sports. So it was great snarky fun to come up with the strangest mascots imaginable—never dreaming that you'd be in the stands someday cheering on your grandsons by yelling "Go Geoducks!" Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington (founded in 1967) has that team nickname and mascot. Geoducks in reality are a large, edible saltwater clam. But both the costume and Fight Song have obvious sexual references. ("Stretch your necks when the tide is low, siphon high, squirt it out, swivel all about, let it all hang out!")

And the snark-snobbery is especially noticeable with mascots from 1960s California universities—and newer artsy/design colleges everywhere. The University of California at Santa Cruz (founded in 1965) chose a...Banana Slug for a mascot, called Sammy the Slug. Although the hands-down winner of sexual-snark belongs to the Rhode Island School of Design's mascot—Scrotie, "the friendly phallus." Internet photos of Scrotie (and Yes, the costume is colorfully graphic) have been yanked, but if you go to the school's Web site, you can do a Search for Scrotie. And the University of North Carolina's School of the Arts runs a close third, since their mascot is the Fighting Pickle, which they even admit started out as a joke in 1972.

College Team Mascots: Strange Animals and Food Products

Wright State University (Ohio) basketball team plays in the Nutter Center (affectionately called The Nut House), and when they have to play Oral Roberts University, the double-entrendres fly fast and furious. Wright's basketball team is called the Raiders. The pro team, Oakland Raiders, milks that term for all it's worth, with black and white pirate symbology like the skull-and-crossbones and eye-patch. But the Wright State Raiders somehow chose a wolf mascot named Rowdy. Campbell University (North Carolina) has a camel for their mascot. But what people object to most is its name: Gaylord, as in Gaylord the Camel. Southern Illinois University's mascots are Brown Dawg and Gray Dawg nicknamed Salukis (which is a real dog breed known as Persian Greyhounds).

In the flatlands of the MidWest, growing food crops is a proud tradition. (Or it was, until corn became a commodity crop for ethanol). Wichita State University (Kansas) are the Shockers, which is a nickname for folks who harvest wheat. It was chosen in 1904 by the football team's manager for the players' main source of income in the off-season. Their mascot is WuShock, "a big, bad, muscle-bound bundle of wheat." The University of Nebraska at Lincoln are called the Cornhuskers, and their mascots are Herbie Husker and Lil' Red (which resembles the Big Boy restaurant mascot). Delta State University (Mississippi) has an unofficial mascot called the Fighting Okra (an unpleasant vegetable best served battered and fried). While Ohio State University (Columbus, Ohio) has a mascot named Brutus Buckeye (which is a nut).

College Team Mascots: Best Filed Under "Other"

The Saint Louis University (Missouri) team and mascot are the...Billikens. In 1911, a sportswriter remarked that the school's football coach looked like a Billiken, which was an elf-like doll that was the current fad. So the mascot became the Billiken, which today is a costumed character that is compared to an albino vampire, or an extra-terrestrial with a crooked smile. And then there are the Western Kentucky University Hilltoppers, which doesn't readily lend itself to a personified mascot. So, since their colors are red and white, their mascot is just a red furry blob in sneakers called Big Red, which sort of looks like a Muppet reject made from a shag carpet.

Stanford University in California is a world famous research university, with a current acceptance rate below 6%. Founded in 1891 by Leland Stanford and his wife, the school seal has an evergreen tree and a German motto which translates as "The wind of freedom blows." They don't have an "official mascot" for games, but their unofficial mascot is the Stanford Tree, which shows up at games with a top hat, pop-eyes and a huge satin grin over a red bowtie.

For more strange college mascots and the stories behind them, you can check out these sites: www.universitylanguage.com and wikipedia.org.

Part B of my humor column—Corporate and What Are They? Olympic Mascots—in two weeks!

(Most of these jokes and anecdotes can be found on multiple Internet sites. But special thanks to JokeBuddha.com, TitansOnLine.com, Wikipedia.org, FerreBeeKeeper.wordpress.com, BoFads.com, Pac10-online.com, and Place-for-laugh.com.)

Marilyn is a freelance writer and humorist, with a special interest (besides computers and technology) in Science Fiction. Besides short stories published in various magazines, she also has some new e-books available on Amazon Kindle: Hunting Monster Aliens is an on-going series of novellas, about a wise-cracking team of ghost investigators who occasionally turn into alien-monster hunters. Culture Crash! A California Yankee Transplanted to Texas is a collection of humor essays chronicling her adventures in her new home-state.

ComputorEdge E-Books has converted many of Marilyn's computer humor columns into four e-books.

Now available in a four-book Kindle bundle from Amazon.com The Best Computer and Internet Humor, Anecdotes, and Jokes Found on the Web. Marilyn's collection of the funniest stories about our computing machines and how we use them at home, the office, and in cyber space. Save 25% off the individual book price!

Editor's Letters: Tips and Thoughts from Readers

“Computer and Internet tips, plus comments on the articles and columns.”
by ComputorEdge Staff

"Cloud Drives," "SkyDrive Desktop," "Printing Web Mail E-mail," "iTunes Organization"

Cloud Drives

[Regarding Jack Dunning's September 6 article, "SkyDrive for Internet Storage and More!":]

Would you put your private info in Dropbox, Google Drive, or Skydrive only your own PC can access?

-Walter, SanDiego, CA

Probably not, but it depends upon the nature of the information. The more sensitive the data the less likely I am to trust any outside system.

-Jack Dunning

SkyDrive Desktop

[Regarding Jack Dunning's September 6 article, "SkyDrive for Internet Storage and More!":]

When I tried the download link, I found that my mvps Hosts file blocked it. This is the entry: "127.0.0.1 view.atdmt.com #[Tracking.Cookie][affects beta downloads]". It looks like MS considers it a beta, which may be a good indication to look for issues others may be having.

What I found was many recently posted problems where the Windows 8.1 Preview disables it and tries to replace it with a less functional built-in app. May be wise to wait until after upgrading to Windows 8.1 in October. If the built-in app isn't functional enough for you, then look further to see if the older desktop app will work any better. If not, there are alternatives like Google Drive and Dropbox, as Jack suggested.

-Ron C, San Diego, CA

Printing Web Mail E-mail

[Regarding the September 6 Digital Dave column:]

I've found that Ctrl-P works in all the e-mail programs, whether local or Web-based, I've used to print e-mail.

-Stewart A. Levin, Centennial, CO

Hi Dave,

Recently you addressed a question about printing e-mail. Within the answer you mentioned printing Web pages. Some Web pages are just not formatted for printing. I have a solution. Copy the URL of Web page you would like to print and paste it here. You then have the option to delete any portions you don't wish to print and then select print.

Best,

-Patrick in Fallbrook

iTunes Organization

[Regarding the September 6 Digital Dave column:]

Dave, I loved the question from David of S.D. on 9/6/13 about iTunes. My primary complaint about Apple, esp. iTunes, is it's so proprietary. I don't want iTunes to re-organize my music. I like the way I have it in Windows Explorer—organized by artist and album. Once you import music in iTunes, that organization is out the window. Is there any hope?

-Garry Schaeffer

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